Tired

I feel so tired lately, I've been working on things that take forever to built.
Maybe I need a time to rest, to re-firm my goals, refine my soul.

I find myself in a funny situation, didn't expect life to strike and drag me all the way here.
It's weird to find myself in a relationship towards marriage. I never imagine being someone else's wife, and it's happening now, on my way to it.

Meanwhile, I'm also waiting for my scholarship to be confirmed. These things have been in my head for the past 4 months.

My parents told me to do things that they presume to be best for me. But I know, that is not what I want. I feel so irresponsible and childish to act like this, to disobey my parents, argue their thoughts, doing things that I wanna do. But, it is ridiculous to sold your life for approval.

We grow up learning to kill our instinct, not learn to control our power but to bury it under the name of education and learning skills that we don't want to learn. Wasting time doing what other people told us to do. What a silly life!

I hate being broke, tied, used, and sad.
 
I choose growing up instead.
Force myself to rediscover my instinct, my natural talents.
And work with it.

A mix of heart

A little clumsy
A little witty
A little silly
A tender beat
A blemish look
A little confidence
A little God

And a lot of you.

Time Files!

I never thought 2012 will be so excitingly heartbreaking. I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning and realize the calender is already 3th may.
What? Wait.
Does anyone realize we've already spent 1/3 of this year.
I can't recall what I do in the first 4 month of my life.

I suppose, I do dating and working and playing piano more than ever in my life.
Too much adrenaline I think, but I'm thankful.

Well, talking about dating, maybe that's why time files.
I barely know you.
It's funny how you change my life and my way of seeing life.

Wedding Pressure

Wedding is supposed to be a beautiful thing.
It is the celebration of two people agree to love each other unconditionally and eternally.

Old people see marriage as an accomplishment and achievement.
It is a bad thing if your daughter haven't got married in her age of 20s.
So most people walk into marriage because of family pressure.

Well, all I know now, is I don't want to get married because I see the chaos that all those old people has cause us.

Their marriage has inherit so many children, and those children become a generation of my dad, and comes to my generation. passing over the bizarre believes that you have to get married.
I heard so many horrible things about marriage. It can cause depressions, sickness, divorce, and heart breaks. Those stories scare the hell out of me, I don't think I like marriage anymore.

Wait a second. why is it so complicated?
Marriage is suppose to be simple and full with smiles and happiness. Isn't it?

Thoughts From a 24.

I'm writing with frustration.
"Hey, what do you do when you reach 24?"
Lady Gaga reach the top of entertainment industry in her 25th birthday, become the 11th most influential woman in the world.

Shall we, women, have big dreams?

I'm going to tell you my story, and what it takes.
THIS is what happen if you want something beyond your league. Although you do all you can to make your dream comes true. Shit happens along the process and at some point, you'll lost your grip and become so tired that you start to question your goals, and attempted to give up.

THIS is frustration.

I'm tired, NO, I mean, I need some time to gather myself, and I'll get back down the field in no time. but NO, I don't want to, I'm tired. ARGH! There are so many voices shouting in my head.

Currently, I work 9 to 5, try to climb the company's ladder to the top level management. But I'm not convinced that this is what I want to do my whole life. Frankly, I see myself as more of an artist. I'm not sure it is a great occupation, it's hard to be financially secure.

So 2012 has been terrible so far. I spend my time doing meetings, dealings, arguings, networkings, marketings, analyzings, and so on, this is a great learning experience though. Those are not easy to do, for an engineer, for an artist, for a newbie with no management background like me. The pressure is high and I'm so depressed.

And adding a note upon these frustrating months, I met my old friends in wedding parties, and they are with their spouse. And I was like, great! This is also becoming a serious issue this year. I love dating, who doesn't? I just don't think I can handle it right now. So I become anti social, in hope to reduce any further psychological pressure. What's wrong with wanting a privacy and some space to kill stress? I'm confused and paralyzed, I hate TV and phone calls.

Where has my passion gone?
Frankly, I love art, and art of making money, art of pure art, whatever. I love wild explorations and exciting adventures. So they say, do what you love and you don't have to work your whole life.
I'll die for fashion. I love fashion. I just can't afford them.
I love writing, it's my stress reliever. Should I write a book?
or shall I date? shall I quit my job? or shall I press on?
shall I talk to someone? or shall I just pray?

Yeah, so this is not a good happy post. I know I'll be OK the moment I've learned my lessons. This too will pass and we all gonna make it one day. I wish I have enough courage to stop my job now and start to look some where else. BUT, it will become a never ending process to give up every time I feel uncomfortable at a workplace. I need to press on!

The problem is, is this something I want to press on my whole life? is this a life I want?
sigh. Until next post when I figure out who I am.

If you are going through the same problems, please leave a comment below and I'll see if we can share some helpful tips =)

cheers!

Lady Dragon Tale

Once upon a time,
Dragons and humans lived in harmony.
Until one day, humans possessed by demons and they created a way to slave dragons.

But we Dragons have pride, we do not take slavery. We fought wars after wars, killed so many, and lose so many. Countless years went with death and sorrow.
Until one day, humans kidnapped our dragon princess and turned her into a human.

Dragon King failed to find his daughter, he grieved and surrendered. He commanded us not to kill humans anymore. Dragon Princess lived, with the price of her race.
And eventually, dragons slowly perish and becomes a Legend. We now know only dragon humans.
The children of Lady dragon, who lost everything in the war. Lady Dragon silently prepare the day to revenge.

And so, today is a magical day, We're celebrating 2013!
It's nearly dawn in the chamber of Dragon Palace when dragon humans around the world come to prepare their transformation. I am so touched by this euphoria.
After 12 years of waiting! The time has finally arrived.

I step out of my dressing room, my claws and skin began to become a bit reddish.
No fear lady, It's the time.
Let us welcome our majestic year, fellow dragons!
We all will be waiting no more!
This is the time of our life!
TONIGHT we will transform and rule over the world.

They will know this
LADY DRAGON will lead the fight for their race, we will bring back glory to our name!!

PREPARE FOR SINCIAAAAA!!!!

HOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Are You Deaf?

My loneliness was born when men praised my talkative faults and blamed my silent virtues. - Khalil Gibran

Lunch Bo! Lunch!

Miss piggy      : Bo! here's your lunch! =D
                         Steve Jobs told the world that in order to succeed,
                         You must keep silly, keep hungry =) Now don't eat too much!

Bo                   : Boooo...  :'(

Bo 2012 goal setting .... ?

Dear Bo,

I see that we haven't get to where we pursue last year.

Should we write down our new goals?

Bo new goals:

1. to have his picture posted on this blog
2. to have more friends
3. to deliver more babies
4. to wear new shoes, Po really need one!
5. to eat more marshmallows 

hm... I see....

"people don't make mistakes, people make choices "

Winter City

It feels a lot like winter night

Where the sky turns blue

And the earth turns white

I walk through freezing sites

Where frozen words left unspoken

A city of remaining ruins and unfinished blocks

Dead like never been seen before

I saw a broken figure half buried

Among the snows by the river

I open my gloves and..

ouch...

It still hurts to feel your face

I dazed into that cracked piece of you

Never mind, I can see

How can I ever forget the smile on your face?

Oh, winter

It will be spring soon

And I'll be moving on

To where the sun belongs

And flowers blossom

You, dear undone face

You better stay and be merry

With blue Santa and his white Christmas

I'll be miss this city

But darling, I'll never come back

Never

xoxo

miss piggy

100 %

I think we all familiar with this "talent story" in the bible. It tells us a story of three person who get talents from their master. The first got 1 talent, the second got 2 talents, and the last got 5 talents.


I used to think I want to be the third guy. He get the most, he is the lucky 5 talents star! Just name him handsome, smart, rich, well educated, famous family name, the luckiest of all!
Poor you first fella, you are the least appreciated, ugly, poor, not much to be proud of.
And you second guy, you just never above average and live among other insignificant common people.


But lately I see this story from a different perspective.
1 should produce 1 talent
2 should produce 2 talents
5 should produce 5 talents


It is not easier for any of them, they all have the same target : 100% profit over capital.
their 100%!
well, let see if we put this into the calculator:
1 trillion should produce another 1 trillion,
2 trillion should produce another 2 trillion
and 5 trillion should produce another 5 trillion.
each of them should work in a different way with their available capital, and face different problems.


I think God is fair enough.
It isn't about how much we have in the beginning, it's how we manage what we have along the way. It is not easy for the first guy to handle 5 talents in a time either. You think it is easy to manage 5 talents?

Try having 1 worker compare to having 5 workers. 
You can manage 1 worker easily, easy to control, easy to spot. But having 5 workers is different, you need to make schedules, operating procedure, resolve conflicts, educate and build team work. Well, that's a whole lot work to do for the lucky-5-talents star.
 
So, maybe you need an extra season to train more skills, dear Mr-1-talent? You never know how Mr-Lucky-5-talents dying to gain another 5 talents!


And in the end, IF everyone produce 100% every season, the third guy will be JUST one step ahead of the second guy, and the second guy will be JUST one step ahead of the first guy.
IF first or second guy fail a season, or they didn't give their 100%, you can keep up within just 1 season. Note that! Dear Mr-1-talent!
You are only a few seasons behind others. It is easy to even up the game! How cool is that?


So screw everyone who runs ahead of you.
They may be born earlier, or born luckier, who cares?
As long as you try your best to do your 100%, ONE DAY you'll be your best at your measuring tape.


It's not you against the rest of the world.
It's you and your best.


And if we all try to give our 100%,
One day everyone will become their best!
How awesome is that?




x.x
(too much math)

Miss Piggy's wishes for 2012

It's been a great year and miss piggy want to end it with several wishes.
Just about time to enter a new year!

1. Create an eyelid crease.
   
2. Make a green panda village sushi, happy panda, sick panda, sleeping panda
   
3. Start a venture
   
4. Branding my own image, which means more gym, dress, shoes, and bags =p
   
5. Become a giraffe. eat more vegetables and fruits
   
6. Take a dance class
   
7. Freak everyone out with several new hairstyles, maybe three
   
8. Nerd myself with 1 biography each month
   
9. Meet more friends and make their life wonderful!
   
10. To be loved by an awesome man who I can fall in love with everyday ♥

Extra list of a lifetime wishes:

1. Marry a king ♥
   
2. Endorse lizards extinction
3. Take a picture with Oprah Winfrey