Thoughts From a 24.

I'm writing with frustration.
"Hey, what do you do when you reach 24?"
Lady Gaga reach the top of entertainment industry in her 25th birthday, become the 11th most influential woman in the world.

Shall we, women, have big dreams?

I'm going to tell you my story, and what it takes.
THIS is what happen if you want something beyond your league. Although you do all you can to make your dream comes true. Shit happens along the process and at some point, you'll lost your grip and become so tired that you start to question your goals, and attempted to give up.

THIS is frustration.

I'm tired, NO, I mean, I need some time to gather myself, and I'll get back down the field in no time. but NO, I don't want to, I'm tired. ARGH! There are so many voices shouting in my head.

Currently, I work 9 to 5, try to climb the company's ladder to the top level management. But I'm not convinced that this is what I want to do my whole life. Frankly, I see myself as more of an artist. I'm not sure it is a great occupation, it's hard to be financially secure.

So 2012 has been terrible so far. I spend my time doing meetings, dealings, arguings, networkings, marketings, analyzings, and so on, this is a great learning experience though. Those are not easy to do, for an engineer, for an artist, for a newbie with no management background like me. The pressure is high and I'm so depressed.

And adding a note upon these frustrating months, I met my old friends in wedding parties, and they are with their spouse. And I was like, great! This is also becoming a serious issue this year. I love dating, who doesn't? I just don't think I can handle it right now. So I become anti social, in hope to reduce any further psychological pressure. What's wrong with wanting a privacy and some space to kill stress? I'm confused and paralyzed, I hate TV and phone calls.

Where has my passion gone?
Frankly, I love art, and art of making money, art of pure art, whatever. I love wild explorations and exciting adventures. So they say, do what you love and you don't have to work your whole life.
I'll die for fashion. I love fashion. I just can't afford them.
I love writing, it's my stress reliever. Should I write a book?
or shall I date? shall I quit my job? or shall I press on?
shall I talk to someone? or shall I just pray?

Yeah, so this is not a good happy post. I know I'll be OK the moment I've learned my lessons. This too will pass and we all gonna make it one day. I wish I have enough courage to stop my job now and start to look some where else. BUT, it will become a never ending process to give up every time I feel uncomfortable at a workplace. I need to press on!

The problem is, is this something I want to press on my whole life? is this a life I want?
sigh. Until next post when I figure out who I am.

If you are going through the same problems, please leave a comment below and I'll see if we can share some helpful tips =)

cheers!